Women's ass size study: there is a new study about women and how they feel about their asses, the results were pretty interesting: 30% of women think their ass is too fat, 10% think their ass is too skinny, the remaining 60% say they don't care, they love him, he is a good man, and wouldn't trade him for the world! If you're laughing, re-post and make someone else laugh..

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.  "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."  She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.  The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"  She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."  "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."

Texting Code for us Older Folks:  ATD - At The Doctors ... BFF - Best Friend Fell ... BTW - Bring the Wheelchair ... BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth ... FWIW - Forgot Where I Was ... GGPBL - Gotta Go Pacemaker Battery Low .. IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On ... LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out ... OMMR - On My Massage Recliner... OMSG - Oh My! Sorry, Gas .. ROFLACGU - Rolling On Floor Laughing And Can't Get Up

When people ask me why I talk to myself, I say because I like intelligent conversations.

Thank You to all those who have walked into my life and made it better, and to all those who walked out and made it amazing!

This is from the Hot Wire: Attention all women!
We have discovered the reason why all you women think that your fluffy. The Shampoo that you use in the shower that runs down your body says "For extra volume and body." Use Dawn dish soap. It says " Dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove.

Opportunity is missed by many people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

Did you loose a cat?

Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else in the class laughed.

My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much.

I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was.
I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, just like she'd asked the other children.

So I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.

She sent me back to the principal's office again. He laughed, and told me not to do it again. I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.

Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most.

I told her, "Colonel Sanders."

Guess where I am now...

Someone asked my daughter Lauren why she runs and she said asked "Well what do you do when you hear gunfire?"  She is a Long Distance Runner, she is such a little sweetheart.

You stop telling lies about me, I will stop telling the truth about you.

Hundreds Gather to Protest Global Warming
 

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..." Thomas D. Schwartz

I never get jealous when I see any of my ex's with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate! 

To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world.

God gave us two ears and my one mouth for a reason.

A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to church service,   'And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?'  One bright little girl replied, 'Because people are sleeping.'  - author unknown

A little boy was overheard praying: 'Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it I'm having a real good time like I am.'  - author unknown

After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.  His father asked him three times what was wrong.  Finally, the boy replied, 'That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys.'  - author unknown

The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible - author unknown

A Babysitter is: a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers"

My Boss says I do not do ANYTHING.  Somehow I get blamed for EVERYTHING.  How in the world can I be to blame when I do NOTHING?  Come to think of it - How does this joint stay together with me around?  Buy this place, fire me, and you will be an instant success.  See. I am IMPORTANT.  We are all important - if nothing else we can serve as a BAD EXAMPLE.

Well let me tell you about MY Boss - My boss says I say he is wrong and he is right, that is exactly what I say but please don't tell him.

Why did the fish have a knot on its head?  It ran into the Dam wall.

Enough Said

Dump Clean Dirt HERE - A sign in Mustang, OK - didn't have the camera with me.


I took a picture of the mirror
I really have to get a new camera

The World's largest McDonald's is located in Oklahoma
(on the turnpike near Missouri).  The only access to it is by driving - it has no drive thru window.

Take the Y to the left 3 miles before that old bridge

WOMEN HAVE THE LAST WORD IN ANY ARGUMENT
Anything a man says after they speak is a new argument! - Believe me, I know for sure this is absolute truth.

What is a Cliff?  ---  A curb outside a bar

Auto trouble explanation:  The carburetor won't carb, the generator won't gen and the piston won't work either.

This picture was taken just northwest of downtown Wellston.  Not sure why they need a stop sign in the river but hey, Wellston is a great place and the people have a great sense of humor.   They are just living life and having "Fun in Oklahoma" (especially in Wellston).

There was a LOUD noise then a 55 gallon drum was flying high (higher than shown here).
 
What goes up must come down but not always all the way down.  You had to be there but "I heard it was very funny".  Don't know what happened but heard there were some disgruntled Texans that didn't want to leave yet.  Now this is just a rumor so don't start any rumors about it.

Have something funny to share?  Email HERE

Nothing to do in Oklahoma?